I'm a Man!(?)

I'm reading Catharine Van Nostrand's book Gender-responsible Leadership (for a Tuesday exam, if I may point out). The book is pretty thick and repetitive, but there really is something worth glancing through for everyone. I think van Nostrand does a good job at raising people's awareness on (gender-sensitive) communication issues - not only good for leaders but for anybody who has to communicate with other people (apart from one particular example this would include every human being).

At first I had trouble relating to the writing - she does sometimes slide towards the edge of hating all mankind, for instance. Then I realized that the problem was not so much that I didn't agree with the importance of the issue, but rather that my personal reactions and responses in many situations are typical of men! I'm not afraid to speak up, I don't avoid (intellectual) confrontation, and I generally don't go out of my way to create a pleasant atmosphere ;) This, according to van Nostrand, is more typical of men than women.

My problem seems to be that I'm doing my bit as the "unusual" woman only half-heartedly. I'm always blurting out things without asking for permission to speak (another characteristic of boys in classroom) but when trouble comes my way, my first instinct is to cancel my statements and be amiable (the best I can). It does irritate the hell out of me, though. Because MOST of the time, I don't regret things I do or say. Sometimes, I admit, I'm a little abrupt but generally I don't feel like I sincerely want to apologize. So maybe there's that little bit of a well-socialized woman in me after all, feeling that I need to seek pleasant coexistence with everyone and not be a fierce opponent of just about anything.

In any case, I'd rather learn to keep my head cool in conflict situations rather than learn to avoid them altogether... Wonder how my kids'll turn out?

Seriously, read the book! It's a fast and enlightening read!