SUMMER!

Or at least almost... Yesterday I really felt it for the first time - the warmth, the sheer joy of being on a vacation of sorts.

That doesn't mean, of course, that I couldn't at the same time be planning for next fall already (my friends think I'm crazy, which is quite understandable). I really did put together a preliminary schedule for my courses... I must be out of my mind. But I like being organized. I'm just a bit weird that way.

I think I'm experiencing some kind of hyperactivity disorder at the moment. Everything seems so great and thrilling that I'm not sure if it's even possible! There seriously can't be this good friends, this interesting things to study, this wonderful people in general - soon somebody's gonna come and tell me I've been dreaming the whole time...

The Joy of Networking

It’s incredible how much satisfaction one can get from meeting new people. Especially ones that (seem to) take you seriously and are interested in you and your opinions ;) I’ve again had the chance to get to know wonderful people, share ideas (and a few drinks) and find myself completely “at home”. This was the University of Tampere North American Studies conference. It was amazing to connect with people from all over the world and be able to find a common language (figuratively speaking, since English wasn’t exactly an issue).

Yes, it does boost a young undergraduate’s confidence to have “older” scholars get interested in her work and ideas (and maybe even in the actual person ;) .

Leaves of Grass

Someone I know lost her child. He was just over a year old. Their first, only one. The doctors found a brain tumor and a few hours later, he was already gone. He was truly just in the beginning of his life. Learning to walk, his firsts in everything.

There are no words. I can’t even begin to understand. But maybe that’s nature’s way of making sure people still want to have children after such experiences? If I could live their pain, I’m not sure I could ever have the courage to have children of my own. Or does the joy of parenthood surpass the grief of loss, at least after some time goes by?

This poem by Walt Whitman greatly consoles me, even on a day like this when it all does seem so unfair.

“I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,/
If you want me look for me under your boot-soles./
--- Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,/
I stop somewhere waiting for you.”

So that's what it was...

... that restlessness, the energetic yet slightly depressed feeling: the Flu. Come on, I never get sick like this! It's my thing to be on-and-off sick for weeks before actually catching a cold. And now, all of a sudden I have a fever :( This sucks. The weirdest thing though - mentally, I still feel very energetic, it's just that staying up too long makes me feel dizzy.

Spring in the air

Now I think it's truly here. Spring! Apart from the longer hours of daylight, you know it from the feeling inside you. You’re full of energy and excited about all kinds of things but can’t concentrate on anything.

I have several exciting projects that I’m looking forward to but just can’t really focus. Even writing this seems to be a challenge of sorts. Some newspaper wrote an article about people who hate spring because of this feeling. I can sort of sympathize them but on the other hand, I don’t remember the last time I felt this alive!

I’m pretty much the most beautiful person there is :)