Tell Me How to Make up My Mind

How did this happen? I had it all figured out. Finish my English studies next year, get out of the university, work as a translator or some such thing. And now I’m back to square one (or beyond), and wondering what to do with my life.

In the last few days I’ve had the chance to meet some young scholars, and I really enjoyed their company and insights. Maybe they didn’t want to discourage me, but nevertheless they seemed reasonably optimistic about their future prospects. More importantly, they took me seriously, and encouraged me to pursue my interests.

So here I am, thinking that I should draft a revised plan for the near future. It’s hard though, since I’d already “established” that I’m going to graduate in a year. Would I have regrets if I didn’t go through with it? Probably. Maybe this could be the way to express my apparent teacher qualities? Continuing studies in history and becoming a university lecturer? In any case, it’s certain that one more year of university will definitely not harm me, no matter what I decide to do next.

So here we go again.

Can irritation kill?

That’s pretty much what a famous Finnish politician once said when, yet again, somebody had taken away a position that was “rightfully his”. Yeah well, maybe you’re not that smart and maybe you should just retire? Oh no, I’ll be gone twelve years, try to preach anti-EU politics in the European Parliament and then return to Finland to demand a high political office. Yeah well, maybe no one’s going to give a s*it about that? No, wrong again, I’m now Finland’s Minister of Foreign Trade and Development! What the f*ck?!

Pardon my French. I'm just so pissed off at some of the choices for the new government. I can’t believe that the government negotiations, where the mantra seemed to be “dynamic, innovative Finland”, have now ended in the selection of two thousand-year-old, conservative, practically mono-lingual men as Minister for Foreign Affairs and Minister for Foreign Trade and Development! It seems that we want to draw the attention of the tabloid press to us with a ladies man and the old fart.

(I was planning to row to Sweden with my colleague but apparently we still have too much work to do in reporting all this.)

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On another note, I’ve been “improving my CV” by engaging in extracurricular activities. In fact, it will be useful, probably both on paper and in practice. How many 24-year-olds have been responsible for recruitment of a new “employee”, sorting through some 20 applications, planning the selection, conducting interviews and sitting in the committee that picks the new “employee”? In addition, I’m also learning diplomacy (at least on the phone where you can make all kinds of faces while sounding all pleasant and understanding :D ) which shouldn't hurt me...

Excitement to dull days?

You see the big envelope that says ”Vero” (Tax). Your pulse begins to rise and you feel nauseous. You tear the envelope open, shuffle through the papers, looking for that certain page. Do you get to exhale with a sigh of relief or is your day ruined? Do you get that liberating sensation of knowing that, next Christmas, you’ll have something extra for presents? Or do you have to start planning not only how to buy those Christmas presents but also how to pay for your extra taxes?

The “extra tax” section of the letter is always with a larger print. Quick look – nothing there. What a relief! Then some more shuffling – did I end up with zero this year? No, in fact, this time I get a not-too-bad sum back!

I don’t care if economists say that extra taxes are more profitable for the tax payer (loan from the state with low interest rate) than tax returns (loan to the state with low interest rate). For me it’s impossible to anticipate the taxation (and I have a permanent distrust towards the taxation authority :D ) and therefore I definitely prefer it this way. And what’s with the December pay-date anyway? Just pure torture…

Making progress with the master's thesis!

I went to have a chat with the supervisor-to-be. Unlike the average university lecturer, he was really helpful! Instead of saying "I think you can go with that" to all my suggestions, he actuallly gave me really straightforward ideas on where to go. So I'm probably going to choose two Japanese-American novels and go from there. I actually already bought one of the books! I'm really excited. All I have to do now is to get rid of the proseminar first before I can get to the new project...

Anxiety

Just posting this to get rid of a strange kind of anxiety I've been having for the past two days. Well, it really comes and goes but it's somehow physical. Just get this sudden sense of being upset about something but can't really exactly figure out why. Just kind of a "well, f*ck you too" sensation. I think I'm too tired. I should probably go to bed. I'm alright.

April Fool's Day

I don't think I've fallen for any tricks :)

We're suddenly living by a lake. That's right. Whereas we used to have some 2km to the sea shore (no beach, unfortunately), we now also have a little lake about 1km from the house. It's all idyllic with glistening water and seagulls having a bath. Too bad it's actually just a field. Don't know how deep it is either but looks all glorious. I bet the field owner doesn't feel the same way, though. The lake's appeared before but it's never been this big (and nice looking). Last winter, the same field functioned as a skating "arena"... I wonder what this does to the soil - does it grow better or worse?

Oh yeah, and this story is true ;) I'll try to download a photo for proof.
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Another couple is moving out of the house (I hope we don't make too much noise :D ). Makes me hope we'd get to move to some nicer place too. I bet these two bought an apartment of their own (the guy's a pilot). He was in my high school, and all these 3 years we lived in the same building and never said a word to each other! (He'd changed so much since high school that it took me like 2 years to even realise who he was and then we just didn't actually see each other ever. We're not exactly neighbor-friendly in this building!)